3 steps to overcome anxiety

It is important to differentiate between the real fear and psychological fear.

The real fear acts as a primary emotion in times of real danger and ensures our survival. This fear is healthy and does not harm us.

But there is another form of fear (the psychological fear) that takes over a part of our minds with anxiety, insecurity, worries, stress, nervousness etc., trying to protect our ego from, of shame and other negative emotions. Especially we are afraid to feel insecure or weak, and to have fear and so a vicious circle develops which is difficult to get out.


It is hard but not impossible. The first thing to know is that the psychological fear is based on catastrophic thoughts type “What if…” about something that might happen in the future.

And if something happens…, And if tomorrow all laugh at me…, And if I do not pass the exam and I run out of money and one day my parents will die and I'll be just living on the street… What if … What if…

How these thoughts refer to something that is not happening and which is impossible to act or refute safely resist all kinds of logical arguments.


What I can do then?Exercise result image

1. Identify the emotion of fear which tries to protect: Fear, Shame, Guilt, Envy, fury, Sadness …

2. Recognize that fear does not have real existence.

For the first two steps we apply the following sentence: “I am scared / I feel anxiety / worry because I see something that is not there.”

Realize that's true, that everything that you fear does not exist at this time and that the future is almost never as we imagine it.

3. Do not le your fears amplify themselves. This means that you are allowed to feel the emotion that you fear. Do not try to avoid negative thoughts and experiences.

In some cases it is more obvious such as if I have fear of public speaking, I have to go approaching this challenge and work on my self-esteem to gain confidence.

In other cases it may be more difficult. For example if I wake up with anxiety in the morning without knowing where it comes from. In these cases the method of choice is the acceptance. Instead of trying not to feel fear, I would feel, I invite you to be with me and observe this feeling. Everything is a process and you need time but I assure as more you are approaching your fears as more they will turn away from you.


Fear result image


Your fears can not exist without you believe in them and try to avoid. At the time when watching them without being scared, you will bring light to the darkest corners of your mind where you think the dangers are hidden and you will recognize that they have only been shadows like monsters under the bed to scare someone but have never had a real existence .


If you want to have support in your personal development process please contact me or another psychologist or therapist of your choice.


I hope I helped you and I wish you all the best.


Melanie Gramer

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