Increase your emotional intelligence (Third part)

In the past two weeks you have been familiar with the self-observation. This week we'll add another aspect to this important skill.

We will continue our attention to our emotions whenever we note that there is a change in mood.

We are wondering: “How do I feel at this time?”, We define emotion as we have learned and now Exercise result imageadditionally we wonder: ” What part of my body I'm feeling “the emotion”?”. This is important to bring attention to different parts of the body and observe their reaction.

This part may initially be difficult, because we are not used to deliberately set ourselves on physical sensations. However we realize that our body physically reacts to every emotion. For now it does not need to describe the feeling, Instead of simply acknowledging the presence. Any body part can be affected by an emotion, However, certain parts of the body that react most likely, as are the head, throat, stomach, shoulders and back.


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With this exercise you are going to know yourselves slowly, and knowledge is power. You are the only ones who can access that internal information and even psychologists rely on good self-observation of its clients to obtain relevant information about the person. You're going to notice that just an observation will lead to major changes in your life, because an emotion does not have the same force to act when under surveillance. This does not mean you should try to manipulate emotion, we have not yet reached this point. Attempt to intervene without developing enough skills can lead to the opposite.

If you feel trapped or notes a constant presence of negative emotions like sadness anger an fear in a high measure during the obseravation, ontact me or other professional who can help you get to know the underlying causes.



I wish you a happy week and I hope you have the benefit much exercise at all levels of your life.


Melanie Gramer

Increase my Emotional Intelligence (Second part)

In the first week you have seen emotions which are often present in you. Perhaps you have noticed that it is not always easy to identify and define the emotion. In the second week we will continue with this exercise but slightly modified. Work last week you've grown accustomed to bring your attention to your emotions, Now we want to identify the really critical moments.
We will use the question “How do I feel at this time?” this means always if we notice Exercise result imagethere is a change in your mood, e.g. if you change your feeling cheerful, positive or neutral to feel sad, angry, fear or any other negative emotion.

It is easy to see just this moment but what we practice it.

Notice that you can choose from a wide range of emotions:

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Remember currently only identify the moments of change in mood and named the emotion that we feel. This is not to judge you by what you feel or try to change.

You're doing a great job and soon you will notice the benefits of emotional intelligence in your life.

If you feel that your emotions are overflowing exceeding you or you consume your energy, If you feel constantly sad, angry or fears please contact me or other.

Melanie Gramer

Increase my Emotional Intelligence (First part)

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The precursor of the topic of Emotional Intelligence (EI) David Goleman defines it as:

“The ability to recognize our own feelings and those of others, to motivate and properly handle relations”.

EI consists on this four main skills that are selfconsciousness, the self-control, the empathy and the social skills.
Being self-aware means knowing self-observe and recognize the feelings present. Based on self-awareness we can learn methods and tools to regulate negative emotions like fear, sadness or anger when we identified. Based on these capabilities we will achieve be more empathetic and we can acquire additional social skills.

Have high EI brings many ADVANTAGES:related image

1. Reduction of anger and violent behavior (physical violence, verbal, discrimination, disrespect, intolerance)
2. Stress Reduction, anxiety and sadness and prevention of depression and anxiety disorders
3. Improvement of social relations
4. Increased school / academic / work performance
5. Future work and personal success

In the following weeks I facilitates increasingly specific information and each week an exercise to increase your EI constantly.

The exercises are consecutive and will be more effective the more you practice.

The first step to enhance EI is autoobservarte and get to become aware of how you feel at all times.

So I recommend for the first week this simple exercise (1):Exercise result image

Try to get the times you remember during the day the question: “How do I feel at this time?”
The response may be: Quiet, keyed up, nervous, joyful, worried, free, happy, sad, restless … Try to be as specific as possible when choosing emotion. If you feel such rage, Ask yourself if anger, hate, envy, anger, disappointment with yourself or someone else.

Become aware of your feelings without trying to change them.

Exercise should be applied regularly but do not take more than half a minute. It's not about entering an inner dialogue about what you feel or do not feel, just pay attention and feel your emotions consciously for several seconds.

Following the exercises in the coming weeks will bring incredible results. You can enhance your personal growth personal and individualized sessions Emotional Intelligence by way of face online u. Puedes ponterte en contacto conmigo a través del formulario de contacto.

Greetings and hope the article will contribute many benefits for your welfare staff.

Melanie Gramer

Exercise to increase self-awareness

This exercise will help you put yourself in the position of self-observation. The more we observe objectively,
the more we will go more in detail knowing and understanding each resulting in a more compassionate and loving attitude towards ourselves and leads to a higher self-esteem and greater well-being

It is best to read the exercise several times before doing so to guide you yourself mentally without having to read the text.

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Sit comfortably in a chair or lie on the bed / couch or floor. Close your eyes and breathe deeply three times.

Take a moment to feel the pulse in your hands and your heartbeat.

Pay attention as your belly breathing seesaw.

Note all parts of your body and notice if they are tense or relaxed.

Now mentally put yourself three steps behind yourself and start watching you without thinking or judging. Watch your physical sensations, your posture, your emotions and finally your thoughts. Sand aware that can decide whether to let them fully absorb or take a stand observer.
Repeat the phrase mentally three times: “I am an observer of my own emotions and thoughts.”

Breathe deeply three times again and reopen your eyes.

If you want to participate in a workshop on mindfulness and self-awareness in Alicante or you are interested in individual therapy contact me. I'd like to help you.

And always patient and gentle with yourself for where you are now is exactly where you belong. Take it as a starting point and embark on a journey to yourself.

Melanie Gramer

3 Steps to practice mindfulness in waiting times

In total we spent about 5 years of our lives for waiting…in the traffic jam, line at the supermarket, in front of the cinema box office, to board the plane…

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In our life we ​​find such situations almost daily. They make us feel that we are wasting time. However this time can become very valuable moments for our personal growth.

If applying the following exercise of mindfulness regularly in waiting situations we can not only eliminate the desperation at the time expected to cause stress and long-term stress but also increase your knowledge about yourself and introduce patterns of important behavior for more quietness and wellness.

1. It recognizes the potential waiting time to work on your personal growth.

2. Focuses attention on your breath and watch.


3. Ask yourself: What do I think at this time?  What do I feel right now?think resultado de imagen de and feel
Try just observe your thoughts and feelings without judging or trying to change them.


See the schedule for upcoming workshops in Mindfulness.

If you are interested in a private consultation or individual therapy contact me.

5 reasons to practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a meditative method that allows us to become aware of our physical sensations, emotions and thoughts.
Therefore it is an indispensable tool of modern psychology.
The benefits of MIndfulness are innumerable, I will list only some of the most important.

Reduce stress and moments of restlessness:
Mindfulness training reduces psychological stress like anxiety, nervousness and restlessness.
A recent study showed for example that its application increased the quality of life in patients with breast cancer.

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Less pain and lower consumption of medicine and drugs:
It has been shown that patients, who were trained in the techniques of mindfulness, were more tolerant of physical pain and significantly reduced the amount of pain medication.

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Lose weight:
With the help of mindfulness, meals they are taken in a more conscious way. Stress reduction reduces the desire to eat large amounts of sugar and fat.

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Prevent depressive episodes:
Mindfulness in combination with cognitive-behavioral therapy reduces the probability of a recurrent depressive episode by half.

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Eliminate insomnia:
The effect of mindfulness training is comparable with taking sleeping pills. And it is not only free from harmful effects on the body, but also have a positive impact on the physical and mental health and this will be more if it is use long-term (with practice).

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Anti-Aging affect:
Mindfulness meditation activates the enzyme “telomerasa” that -according to new research- slows the aging of the body.


8 steps to recognize and overcome self-criticism

In everyday life we ​​are often in situations that make us feel disappointed or even angry with ourselves.
We need to realize that we are continually evaluating and judging our own behavior when compared with an unrealistic “ideal” that we have created mentally.
If reality does not come close enough to our created ideal, the voice in our minds devalues ​​us. In the short term we can provide a higher yield long as we deal with it properly, But long-term excessive self-criticism block us and hruts us, introducing negative feelings like sadness, anxiety and so on.
If we want to improve our internal dialogue it is necessary to detect self-criticism and establish a more functional and beneficial inner dialogue for our objectives and our mental and physical health. If you follow the following 8 steps I promise you that you will see incredible changes.

1. Realize the situations that change your mood abruptly.

2. Detect thoughts in those situations that affect you negatively.

For example:  “I never do anything right.”  “I'm useless.”  “I will never be as… . ” “I can not anymore, I'm not enough…”

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3. Realize that this is an error and not truth. Ask yourself: It is true?  It is probable? I'm exaggerating?

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4. Create a more realistic and functional alternative.

For example: “I did not well today because I'm tired.”  “I have not yet come, where I want to go, but I'm moving.”  “Now I think I can not anymore but I know much more than I think.”

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5. Benefit from your mistakes. Ask yourself: “What can I do to avoid the same thing happening again?” “What do I need to learn?” “Where I can get help?”

6. Be patient: Gradually change things and if you're impatient just add another stress factor in your life. Note how long you've been criticizing.

7. Be persevering: The brain is like a muscle that must be exercised constantly to act healthily and beneficial.

8. Be thankful, that you use your energy to improve your well-being.


And do not forget that where you are now is exactly where you belong.

10 Steps out of the comfort zone

Our comfort zone is the area of ​​our lives, which is familiar to us. Our family and friends, the workplace, the morning traffic jam on the highway, the dispute with the partner and the subsequent reconciliation and so on. There we feel safe. Dieses Gefühl der Sicherheit steht aber in direktem Gegensatz zu unserem menschlichen Bedürfnis kreativ zu sein und Neues zu entdecken. Therefore, the comfort zone can turn into a personal prison in the long run, geprägt von Routine und geschwächtem Selbstbewusstsein, because we trust ourselves less and less. To leave the comfort zone can be scary, denn es bedeutet unsicheres Territorium zu betreten. Langfristig gesehen, ist es aber die einzige Möglichkeit unsere Kenntnisse zu erweitern und den Glauben an uns selbst zu stärken und unsere Fähigkeiten zu erweitern. Deshalb zeige ich euch heute die wichtigsten Schritte raus aus der Zone des Komforts.

  1. Define your comfort zone. What's trusted to you?

  2. Define your learning zone: Where do you expand your knowledge?

  3. Define your panic zone/ magic zone: Of which you have always dreamed of?

  4. Define goals. Important is, that your goals are achievable and measurable and are located either in your learning area or in your panic zone.

  5. Defining five steps each, which are necessary, to achieve your goal. Start with the simplest.

  6. Write a date to each step and your final destination , a day / time depending on, what can best be reconciled with the respective step.

  7. Determine for each step potential obstacles. (e. B. Lack of time / money / fears / lack of knowledge etc.)

  8. Determine your resources and opportunities, how can you deal with these obstacles. (Searching / planning / patience / help of friends, etc.)

  9. Start today. (What one thing can you walk towards your goals today)

  10. Watch your progress: Be aware, that each step, that removes you from your comfort zone, brings you closer to your goals. Insecurities and fears are normal, forgive yourself regress or small mistakes, Perfectionism is not necessary to achieve these objectives. Praise yourself for your courage. Zielerreichung result image